| For decades, homosexuality was regarded as a mental illness, for which treatments could include aversion therapy and electric shock treatment. Thankfully we now live in more enlightened times, and in 1990 homosexuality was finally removed from the World Health Organisation’s International Classification of Diseases (ICD) as a mental disorder. |
| However, the effects of personal, cultural and institutional homophobia mean that a significant number of lesbian, gay and bisexual people can experience periods of poor mental health. They may be dealing with stress about coming out to homophobic family members, neighbours, schoolmates or work colleagues; or juggling a kind of ‘double life’ where they are trying to manage who knows and who doesn’t know their sexual orientation; or simply denying and suppressing their sexuality entirely except perhaps for fleeting, anonymous sex encounters. It needs to be understood that it is actually not homosexuality but other people’s real or perceived HOMOPHOBIA that is the real problem here. A British Journal of psychiatry study of 1,285 gay and bisexual men and women in 2004 found that just under a third had attempted suicide. 83% of respondents said they had experienced either damage to property, personal attacks or verbal insults in the last five years, or insults and bullying at school, and over 40% had a clinically recognised mental health problem. The study said that there was a “likely link” between the experience of discrimination and the subsequent mental health problem. |
Of course LGB people are also subject to most of the same kind of stresses and problems that sometimes cause poor mental health in heterosexual people, such as illness, bereavement, loneliness, financial difficulties, workplace stress and relationship breakdowns.
Twelve Top Tips for Improving Your Mental Well-Being! |
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Accept who you are.
For good or ill, you are who you are. You may be able to tinker with the external appearance a bit and release some of your untapped inner potential, but you can’t change your fundamental sexual nature. So enjoy it! If you believe in God, believe that He made you this way and it wasn’t to make you miserable. You’re a fabulous part of the variety and diversity of our world, so get used to it! |
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Rephrase your negative internal messages
What are your negative thoughts about yourself that seem to crop up all the time? Turn them inside out. “I can never have a relationship” becomes “I have never had a relationship so far – what do I need to do if I want to have one?” “I’m so ugly” becomes “People don’t seem to see my inner beauty, what a shame for them, they are missing out, how can I help them appreciate me?” |
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Talk things over
It really is good to talk about your problems. Putting your fears and worries into words is the first step to dealing with them. Good friends will listen and care about you, and you will pick up the good vibes from this. If you don’t have friends you can talk to, call or e-mail a helpline – they LOVE getting genuine calls! And sometimes talking to a stranger is easier than talking to a friend or family member. |
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Ask for help
If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Be assertive. You should be able to access a confidential counsellor by going to your GP – you don’t need to tell your GP what the issue is if you don’t want to, just say that you’re experiencing some difficulties and would like him to refer you to a counsellor. Write it down first if you’re afraid you’ll be tongue-tied when you see the GP. You could also try other generic mental health services like your local MIND group, or the Lancashire Mental Health helpline (0500 639000). And of course those gay-specific helplines like Project Oscar and Lancashire Friend will be able to tell you about what groups or gay counselling services exist in your area. |
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Pamper yourself
Prescribe yourself some ‘me’ time. Relax, switch the phone off, listen to some favourite music, watch a comedy video, or take a scented bath. Or go outside, visit a beautiful garden or an art gallery. You know best what your spirit responds to, so make use of it. |
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Do something creative
Write a journal about how you’re feeling, and look back to spot the triggers that brought you moments of happiness or sadness, to better understand what makes you tick. Lose yourself in drawing a picture. Learn something new, maybe take up a musical instrument or join an evening class. Creativity will stimulate you. |
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Keep physically active
Get out of the house (and the pub!) and do some exercise. There are numerous gay and lesbian groups in the north-west that you can access for activities such as walking, running, yoga, badminton, tennis, soccer, rugby, volleyball, visiting the theatre and singing. Or just go for a long walk or go join a gym. Exercise stimulates the release of endorphins in your brain, which fight depression and make you feel better. It has been shown that physically active people recover from mild depression more quickly, and physical activity is strongly correlated with good mental health as people age. Regular physical activity appears as effective as psychotherapy for treating mild to moderate depression. |
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Go light on alcohol and drugs, eat a balanced diet
We probably all know the temptation to go on a binge when we’re feeling low, and in small quantities alcohol can briefly lift your mood, but in large quantities alcohol is a depressant. Similarly recreational drugs like cocaine, speed and ecstasy can bring feelings of paranoia, confusion and depression in the coming-down period. Better mental health can be helped by respecting your body in terms of what you feed it with. Ditch the junk food too - a well-balanced diet will help you feel better. |
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Do something nice for some else.
Focusing on someone else’s needs for a while takes you out of your own worries. If you make someone else feel better it has a positive effect on your own mood, both because you can feel proud of yourself and because you may well get positive feedback from the person concerned, which improves your self-esteem. So practise random acts of kindness, help out a friend or family member, or think about doing some voluntary work in your local community. |
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Read a self-help book.
Your local library or bookshop should have a section for books on positive thinking and understanding yourself. There are also books specifically by and for members of the LGBT community, and you can order these or perhaps borrow them from a gay health project. Below, there is a list of a few books we know have helped people help themselves. |
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Join a group
Many people have found benefits from joining a group of people with similar problems to themselves, to feel less alone and to share strategies for dealing with difficulties. The relief at finding you’re “not the only one” can have very positive benefits for your state of mind as the sense of isolation reduces or disappears. |
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Deep breathing and plenty of sleep
Not getting enough sleep makes you feel tired, run-down and more prone to mental health problems. Aim for eight hours every night - you will soon feel the benefits. Also try and practise some deep breathing every day, it’s a simple way to calm and relax yourself. |
Some recommended self-help books: |
| How To Be a Happy Homosexual by Terry Sanderson. |
ISBN: 094898211X |
| Making Gay Relationships Work by Terry Sanderson. |
ISBN: 0948982020 |
| Testimonies: Lesbian Coming-Out Stories by Sarah Holmes and Jennifer Tust |
ISBN: 1555835465 |
| 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do To Improve Their Lives by Joe Kort |
ISBN: 1555838987 |
| Useful Links and Services : |
| LGBT Helplines: |
| Project Oscar |
0800 783 5345 |
| Pout LGBT Youth Group, Chorley |
0800 783 1524 |
| Other Helplines: |
| Lancashire Mental Health Helpline |
0500 639 000 |
| Samaritans |
0845 790 9090 |
| Open Mind Centre, Chorley |
01257 260714 |
| Relationship Counselling |
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| Relate actively welcomes LGBT people for relationship counselling. Relate's psychosexual therapists have training to equip them to work with gay and lesbian couples. Click here to reach Relate's website http://www.relate.org.uk
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| Peace of Mind website |
| Listings for Mental Health & Emotional Support Services in Chorley & South Ribble: |
| Stonewall information bank on LGB mental health: |
